How are our relationships with our children affected by our parenting styles? Many of us know that there is no manual when it comes to parenting. That is why we parent according to what we know and according to how we wish we were raised while growing up.
Parenting is trial and error. You must also keep in mind that what works with one child may not succeed with another. Although children have physical needs of food to shelter, they also have the need to feel loved.
It is a parent’s job to teach them how to live and start a life of their own as they grow older. You may not consider your parenting style, but every parent can be categorized in at least one style.
There are a variety of styles, which fall into democratic, authoritarian or permissive parenting. I would like to add one more style, parent as facilitator.
When you are a democratic parent, you will use fair consequences to a child's actions. You view children as equals and your goal is to teach as much as possible. You and your children make family rules and you keep them.
When a situation arises, you present the rule and let your child know that it is to be followed as planned. You will create a relationship with your child that includes respect for and from your child.
When you are an authoritarian parent, you take on the "in charge" role. The rules and schedule you present are strict and must be followed otherwise there will be negative consequences. You will not present a choice when it comes to the rules and the punishment will fit the crime.
Your child will know the rules and that they will be presented with a punishment if and when it occurs. When using this parenting style many children may feel less freedom and studies have shown that children raised in this method can have lifelong difficulties. The most common of which is an inability to use one’s intuitive self.
When you are a permissive parent, you are not controlling. There are not many rules and even if the rules are broken, there is often no punishment.
You want the children be independent and feel loved. On the other hand, they may not understand when rules are presented to them. They may also have difficulty with authority and structuring their life.
Parent as Facilitator
Parent as facilitator is one that recognizes that a child is a “soul on a journey” and that all that a parent can do is advise and guide. The child will ultimately have to find his or her own path choosing his or her own goals in life.
Parent as facilitator recognizes that each child is an individual and that no two children can be compared. This parenting style acknowledges that all are equals and as equals, children are spoken to intuitively honing children’s awareness and developing their ability to think and use intuition to relate to others and to solve problems.